No Montreal for Me – and that’s ok

This morning are the auditions for the Montreal job – and I’m not there.  I haven’t blogged in a while.  A lot has gone on in the past three-four weeks.  I’m on the final days of my tuba staycation and it’s been quite the adventure.

So, no Montreal, eh?  Here’s what happened…  we hosted a reception/party for a friend’s gallery show opening and that was the icing on the emotional cake that I’d been building since my Mom’s death on June 1st.  The Montreal job is a total dream job:  playing in one of Canada’s premier orchestras and living in the best city in Canada (IMHO).  two weeks ago, I came to an interesting realisation though:  I constantly fight against life.  There are some great things right in front of me that I fought for and now I’m wanting to shove them aside to keep chasing the “dragon”.  I mean, it’s reasonably more complicated than that, but it was a bit of a “eureka” moment for me.

Second:  the rep.  Whoa.  The Montreal audition list was huge and included works I’d either never heard before, or never played before.  Should I list some of them?

  • Fountains of Rome
  • The Sicilian Vespers (Verdi opera overture)
  • Bruckner 8
  • Mahler 5 (It has unfortunately been a long-neglected CD in my library)
  • a Bach solo for C tuba (Bach for Tuba, vol 2)
  • Coppélia
  • Hary Janos
  • Prokofiev 5

Was I chickening out?  Maybe.  I originally wanted to go to the audition as a learning experience and to say I did it.  But with so much rep unprepared, I would have been totally embarrassed to be sh*tting on a lot of stuff.  I would have been obsessing over the rep for the past two weeks, not get the job (which I was expecting in any case) and, furthermore, not working on the RVW concerto, which was the original purpose of taking a tuba staycation this summer.

After a stress breakdown two Sundays ago, I slept for a few days on my decision to quit working on the Montreal audition.  Three days in a row and I was feeling good about my decision, so I wrote them to cancel.  I returned to the RVW and cracked open the 3rd movement.  How’s that going?  Awesomely!

Really, it is.  It’s going super well.  At a slower tempo, I’m playing much of the first two pages.  More of this later – I’m going to dedicate a number of posts about my work on the concerto.

And what’s more, I’ve NEVER played better in my life!  I’ve been going Breathing Gym and James Thompson buzzing warm-ups and spending hours on both tubas.  My dynamic range has expanded further than I thought possible and I’m playing higher and clearer notes, pushing my range up *and* down.  F*ck yeah!

The only bummer is that I’m not looking forward to going back to work in two days.  I love my job, but I’ve been so spoiled in spending many more hours on the tuba – not to mention relaxing, lake swimming, cleaning house, and living the good life for a while.

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