This morning are the auditions for the Montreal job – and I’m not there. I haven’t blogged in a while. A lot has gone on in the past three-four weeks. I’m on the final days of my tuba staycation and it’s been quite the adventure.
So, no Montreal, eh? Here’s what happened… we hosted a reception/party for a friend’s gallery show opening and that was the icing on the emotional cake that I’d been building since my Mom’s death on June 1st. The Montreal job is a total dream job: playing in one of Canada’s premier orchestras and living in the best city in Canada (IMHO). two weeks ago, I came to an interesting realisation though: I constantly fight against life. There are some great things right in front of me that I fought for and now I’m wanting to shove them aside to keep chasing the “dragon”. I mean, it’s reasonably more complicated than that, but it was a bit of a “eureka” moment for me.
Second: the rep. Whoa. The Montreal audition list was huge and included works I’d either never heard before, or never played before. Should I list some of them?
- Fountains of Rome
- The Sicilian Vespers (Verdi opera overture)
- Bruckner 8
- Mahler 5 (It has unfortunately been a long-neglected CD in my library)
- a Bach solo for C tuba (Bach for Tuba, vol 2)
- Hary Janos
- Prokofiev 5
Was I chickening out? Maybe. I originally wanted to go to the audition as a learning experience and to say I did it. But with so much rep unprepared, I would have been totally embarrassed to be sh*tting on a lot of stuff. I would have been obsessing over the rep for the past two weeks, not get the job (which I was expecting in any case) and, furthermore, not working on the RVW concerto, which was the original purpose of taking a tuba staycation this summer.
After a stress breakdown two Sundays ago, I slept for a few days on my decision to quit working on the Montreal audition. Three days in a row and I was feeling good about my decision, so I wrote them to cancel. I returned to the RVW and cracked open the 3rd movement. How’s that going? Awesomely!
Really, it is. It’s going super well. At a slower tempo, I’m playing much of the first two pages. More of this later – I’m going to dedicate a number of posts about my work on the concerto.
And what’s more, I’ve NEVER played better in my life! I’ve been going Breathing Gym and James Thompson buzzing warm-ups and spending hours on both tubas. My dynamic range has expanded further than I thought possible and I’m playing higher and clearer notes, pushing my range up *and* down. F*ck yeah!
The only bummer is that I’m not looking forward to going back to work in two days. I love my job, but I’ve been so spoiled in spending many more hours on the tuba – not to mention relaxing, lake swimming, cleaning house, and living the good life for a while.